Given the harmonic convergence of Elena Kagan’s confirmation as Supreme Court justice, Judge Vaughn Warner’s overturning of Proposition 8 in California, and the likelihood that the gay marriage kerfuffle will end up in the US Supreme Court, I thought it only appropriate that we continue our dialogue here in the blogosphere with a further discussion of all things gay. I am reminded of a highly publicized interview with the Associated Press on April 7, 2003 in which then Senator Rick Santorum (R-Penn.) said that while he has no problem with homosexuality, he does have a problem with homosexual acts.
This is a fascinating stance. It likens pedophilia, alcoholism, and other human compulsions that are widely agreed upon as negative to the innate and intractable personal orientation of millions of Americans. Be, but don’t do, said Senator Santorum.
"I have absolutely nothing against anyone who's homosexual," Santorum said. "If that's their orientation, I accept that. The question is, do you act upon those orientations?" Santorum went on to enumerate several of these actions that he found objectionable, including going to piano bars and singing Broadway show tunes. Santorum’s list continues.
"The third time some guy rents 'Funny Girl' it starts to become a problem for the American family," Santorum said. Earrings in the right lobe, lisps, and handbag ownership were among the various other homosexual acts Santorum found most opprobrious. Himself a collector, Santorum characterized antiquing as something that should be assessed on a case by case basis. Naturally, doing amyl nitrate poppers at night clubs and wearing buttless leather chaps fell well outside of the boundaries of acceptable behavior.
He also expressed the opinion that seeing "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" once or twice was plenty enough for anyone, and that persistent viewing of the film in his view constituted a gay act, especially if the person attending the showing saw fit to bring rice, toast, a newspaper and other various accouterments to enhance their viewing experience. Santorum admitted that he himself had seen the film twice, but once he found out that the hot chick who played Janet was Susan Sarandon, he vowed never to see it again.
Obsession with Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe and especially Liz Taylor, while heterosexually defensible, is also off limits according to Santorum. "Being a fan of any woman that socializes with Michael Jackson is a danger zone as far as I'm concerned," Santorum said. When asked for comment on how he views membership in the Liza Minelli fan club, Santorum just shook his head.
Other gay acts that Santorum listed as objectionable include planning the weddings of female friends and obsessive trimming of one's facial hair. As far as clothing is concerned, all cowboy fashions constitute "thin ice," according to Santorum, and of course leather motorcycle caps are, in his words, "out of the question." Santorum listed watching Mary Tyler Moore reruns as a warning sign of potential latency, as well as waiting on tables as an adult profession.
"It's like being an alcoholic," Santorum said. "It's fine to be an alcoholic, as long as you don't drink. I don't have a problem with people being homosexual, but once they start buying Cher tickets, then I think that as a society, we have a moral responsibility to object."
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